Jessica Simpson: “Only one month to go! I can’t wear heels anymore”

Yesterday, I was reading the print editions of OK! Magazine and Us Weekly, and I noticed that the editors of both tabloids had done stories on Jessica Simpson’s neverending TMI. Both stories were basically just an assortment of quotes from the past month, and seeing it all laid out like that made me realize that it’s just going to get worse after she has the baby. We’ll be hearing about baby poop and epidurals for MONTHS. Prepare yourselves. When she starts talking about the delivery, I’m going to step aside and let CB and Bedhead handle it, because if I try to write about it, I’ll vom.

So Us Weekly has yet another piece about Jessica, but this time it’s just based on what people overheard Jess say. This girl can talk, and she’s telling everybody her business. Including something about how she’s not due for another month? THE HELL?

Jessica Simpson is hitting the home stretch of her pregnancy — and the fashionista is making drastic sacrifices indeed to stay relatively comfortable.

“Only one month to go!” the Fashion Star mentor, 31, was overheard telling a fellow shopper at Fred Segal’s in Santa Monica Tuesday, where she and a pal spent the afternoon. “I can’t wear heels anymore,” lamented the star, clad in a black maxi dress and flip flops. “I tried but it was too hard. Wearing heels is like a religion to me, so it’s tough!”

That means that Simpson (engaged to her daughter-to-be’s father, Eric Johnson) will have to amend her child labor plan. Back in November, the style mogul joked to Us Weekly: “I’m probably going to deliver my baby in [4-inch YSL heels]. . .I went to the doctor yesterday and he said, ‘You’re gonna need to get out of those heels!”

During her Wednesday excursion at Fred Segal, the heavily pregnant star was already plotting her post-pregnancy body goal, eyeing a slim pair of Elliot jeans as she blew big bubbles with her gum.

Cheerful if seemingly exhausted, she chugged Fiji water as she shopped — and while she couldn’t buy clothes for herself, she picked up some togs for her little girl at the Ron Robinson store. Simpson snapped up bloomers, shirts from Le Petit Bateau and a polka dot dress.

“It’s like carrying a bowling ball!” Simpson was overheard saying of her belly. “Almost done!”

Remember when everyone was like, “Oh, she’s due in March!” And then Jessica said she was due in a “few weeks” in mid-March, and everyone was like, “Oh, early April!” And now it sounds like she might have one more month to go? She’s been so big for so long now. Poor Jess. If I was her, I would be spending a crazy amount of money on my delivery too.