Lindsay Lohan admitted to Oprah Winfrey that she is an “addict” during a candid interview with the chat show queen.
Asked by Oprah whether she considered herself an addict, she replied “yeah”, citing alcohol as her “drug of choice”.
The actress also revealed that she actually secretly wanted to go to prison. “Part of my decision was, at that point I strangely, being in my addiction and everything and having all the chaos around me that I was so comfortable with, I somewhere inside knew and kind of wanted to go to jail.
“I think that was subconsciously being put out there by me just by my actions,” she added. “I think it was just to find some peace and just have no choice but to just sit and be.”
Lindsay’s 84-day stint behind bars in 2007 wasn’t enough to change her party-loving ways, but this time the actress insists her 90 days of rehab is different.
“I wasn’t fighting at all,” she explained. “I just let go and was able to just be like ‘OK you probably do know what’s best,’ because my idea of doing what’s best for me has not worked in the past.
“I came into it just really willing, really craving more spirituality. Really open and ready to get really honest.”
Talking about the mistakes that she has made, Lindsay admitted to feeling “lots of shame and “tons of guilt”.
She added, “It’s always such a circus when I go to court. It’s just so humiliating.”
Lindsay insisted that she is now drug free, taking only vitamins and Nexium for acid reflux disorder. She said that she is now doing “really good” and is looking ahead to the future, focusing on her recovery and rebuilding her career.
“I feel whole again and I have such a desire to want to keep this feeling and stay this way, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” she said.
Towards the end of the frank interview, Oprah questioned Lindsay’s decision to jet to Europe in a few days time.
“My brother is going to be coming with me,” she explained. “I am going to be doing a yoga and meditation kind of retreat.
“I’m different,” she added. “I feel different I’m in a different head space. I don’t want those things that I wanted before.”
The final image from the interview was a screen that read, “Two days later, Lindsay canceled her vacation to Europe.”